So today i have spent a good part of my day reflecting on this year...So much has changed in just one year it is almost unbelievable to me!
One year ago, Ryan and i were both in stable careers...Our lives were on a steady road to nowhere, we had established ourselves, our home our lives but behind the curtains things had already grown stale. Ryan and my marriage was a weekend relationship with him over nighting in Sioux Falls 5 nights a week, he loved his job, he loved South Dakota, for him this was almost perfect. Me on the other hand was struggling to find some meaning in it all! I loved Orthodontics, but was completely burnt out on the long hours and never ending days! It had become almost a thorn in my side and my attitude towards all things had grown grim! Then India came and if i had known what a wild ride i had been in store for, well i would have joined Ryan a LONG time ago!
A year ago i was 25 pounds lighter, i had endless clothes in my closet (some still have tags on them), I had my Friday nights at the bar, my Saturday hangovers....and i was empty! A year later i am heavier than i have ever been, my wardrobe in India is tiny, I miss my friends at home, and i have made amazing new friends, i goof off with Ryan, we laugh together, cry together, tend to each other....and i am complete!
A year ago i dreaded grocery shopping and the mundane day to day activities...A year later, a trip to the grocery store or town is an exciting 2 wheeling adventure!!!!!
A year ago i had no financial worries and job stability was not a concern...i felt nothing!!! A year later, we have NO job security and financial concerns galore...and i have found my faith in God again!!!!
A year ago i wondered what it would feel like to let someone into my heart and pull down the walls i have built since my divorce...I was scared i would never get there! A year later i have fallen head over heels in love with Ryan and i grow with him more and more each day!
A year ago i thought this job would bring Ryan more career opportunities and insure our future...A year later i think this job has given me love, laughter, faith, and friendship!!!
A year ago i gave up on the hopes of starting a family, I lost my faith in God's promises...A year later i see that the miracles that God can do are endless but first you have to let go and and know that his plan is bigger than your plan!!!
A year ago i cared what the world around me thought about me...A year later i just hope that the world sees a changed woman who has made mistakes and learned from them!
A year ago Ryan told me that God had a plan for India....A YEAR LATER, I KNOW THAT HE DOES AND I AM ENJOYING IT AS IT UNFOLDS!!!!!
We may not leave India rich (we never thought we would), we may not leave India secure, we may not leave India with anything! One thing i am certain of...we will leave India as a family, in love and our eyes turned to God!!!!
2 comments:
Well said. You're happiness has been morethan earned my dear...
What a beautiful post. I'm so glad you're starting to really love your life there and that you are seeing the bright side of all the challenges that you once faced. Expat living and dating a pilot are both very challenging things, but they both can bring such great joy and wonderful rewards and expericences!
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