On the other side of the world

We have now been home for over a week and this is the first day i really feel like i have enough energy to write. I think that jet lag gets multiplied by a thousand when you are pregnant, as i still cant stay up past 7pm!

Having my sister here has been such a blessing, it makes being so far from home not so hard! I feel bad for her because we really haven't done much since she ha been here, but in a few days her and i will head to Goa and enjoy some sun, sand, and fun! I cant wait to show her Goa and let her see the beautiful, tropical side if India! It is just nice to have her here to hang out with while Ryan is gone, but i know that she misses home, her son and her boyfriend so i feel for her. I think that once we get to Goa she will finally feel like she is on vacation, although she is excited to see a whole new culture and world that she would never have seen otherwise!

I can not believe that i am in the end of my fourth month in my pregnancy, it is crazy to me how fast time flies by! Ryan and i got to hear the baby's heartbeat the other day at our regular check up, but we are really excited about the 20 week scan to see how much our baby has grown! I am finally starting to show, not only show but i can feel the difference in my body, it is really exciting and awe inspiring to me. When i touch my belly i can feel the firmness that is there from the baby taking up space higher in my abdomen now...How truly blessed God has made us, this is such an amazing experience and i cant get over that God gave me my miracle! Last night i was laying in bed reading "what to expect" and i think i finally felt my first baby movements! It was really neat, i just wish Ryan had been there for me to share it with him (not that he would have been able to feel anything). Ryan is a truly amazing man and i love how excited he is about pregnancy, he actually cant wait for me to get bigger (which is good because i am scared i am going to look as big as a house)! Back in the US it was far easier for me to eat 3 hearty meals a day and good snacks in between and i was even able to put on 3 pounds, but back here in India i am struggling and find myself forcing food down and not feeling well because of it. I just cant seem to gain weight over here (funny how before i was pregnant i gained weight like mad) and have actually lost 2 pounds since i have been back. My Doctor is not worried, but for me i feel like i am starving my baby!!!! I guess all i can do is keep stuffing food in my face and hoping that i start to gain! (I never thought i would say those words)

We just found out that we will be spending Christmas and New Years back in the USA. This news is so exciting for us, not only has it been years since Ryan has spent a Christmas at home but in our entire relationship we have only spent one Christmas together! I can not wait to be home for my absolute favorite time of the year, there is nothing quite like Christmas...It is magical! There is nothing better, as far as i am concerned than celebrating Jesus' birthday with my family and friends!

STA's and turbulence

Time for some pilots wife humor and fun facts......

When i first became a pilots wife my husband flew cargo. This meant that we received none of the flying perks, such as STA's and discount tickets. I must admit back then i was envious thinking "now that's the life"....Well, it is and it isnt's!!!!

For any of you out there who have no idea of what it is truly like to fly on an STA (staff ticket) let me enlighten you! First of all, most airlines still require you to pay something for these tickets, so if you are thinking "yea, well it is free" you are mistaken in many cases. Second of all an STA is no more than a standby ticket, and for anyone who has ever flown standby you know that you have to be truly flexible! Lets say you have a vacation planned for a week and you are flying on one of these coveted STA's, well i hope that you don't really need to arrive at your destination at the planned time because there is no guarantee that you will get there that day or even to the airport you had planned! More times than not you are left waiting until the flight closes (that is an hour prior to departure) to find out of you will even get on the plane. Then you have to race through security to make your flight, yes this includes international flights where you have security and customs and let me tell you that rushing through customs and security with only an hour can be very stressful and just pray you aren't the one that gets the extra fun search done cause you may not make it at all!

Granted, many times it works out perfectly and you find yourself flying very cheap often upgraded to first class, but i have had so many times that were near misses and last minute airport changes that i would much prefer to pay full price for a ticket to avoid the hassle and to enjoy a confirmed seat. I actually pay full price for my tickets when i have to be somewhere because i am not leaving my precious vacations up to chance!

I used to be able to handle flying and actually enjoyed it very much, but lately the turbulence has been very unnerving for me. All i can figure is that i am pregnant and i get very easily spooked about anything happening to my baby and my husband. I know that it sounds ridiculous but our last journey to and from the USA was very turbulent and left me kissing the ground on arrival! Ryan just laughs at me, but it has become this new deep seeded fear that i cant shake...I am not looking forward to the flights again in December (that's right, we will be flying standby during the Christmas holiday...i am taking bets now on if we will be able to make it home or not)! LOL

Hard to say goodbye

Being home this last week and a half has certainly showed me a lot about myself and my life. I know that God sent us to India with a huge purpose, after all if we had not listened to God and come to India i would not be pregnant with our miracle child. I have never appreciated Rapid City, and i have desperately wanted to move away, but that has all changed now. As time goes by i really only wish to be closer to my family and friends. I want all of these amazing people to be a part of our baby's life. It breaks my heart to leave the USA this time as i am not ready to say goodbye yet, but with my sister coming along it does ease the hurt of it a bit. I think to truly appreciate all that you have you have to first be removed from it. I know that when God is ready for our time in India to end that it will, and all i can do is to pray for the strength and courage to continue in his great plan. Ryan and i are homesick, but we will wait on God.

First trimester

So many have asked for belly shots and i will post them but as i have said i am not really showing at all, although i can no longer suck in my stomach so i am beginning to thicken. Since this is as much a journal for me as it is a guided tour through my adventure for you i am going to do the unthinkable, i am going to record my first trimester changes on my blog. I am not one of those women who is scared of the world knowing that i am no barbie doll so here it goes :)

Pre-pregnancy
weight 185
waist 41"
bra 38D

12 weeks
weight 178
waist 40"
bra 38D/DD (just sports bras at this point lol)


Crazily enough i have lost a significant amount of weight during this early stage of pregnancy, but i have been told by friends that it is normal, and i suppose it makes sense due to nausea and indigestion and basic food aversions. The baby takes from me what it needs which may leave me with little because i have not been able to eat much, also for the first 6 weeks i was nurturing twins. My appetite is returning and so i am sure this weight loss is only temporary as my baby requires more from me i will force myself to eat more often!

I am looking forward to the 2nd trimester as i hear it is the easy one, i can definitely go for that! Pregnancy is so very exciting, i love it and i know that after this baby is born and i once again will have to accept my infertility it will be hard, but i will be forever grateful that God gave me the opportunity to experience it!

There is no place like home

Its funny, but right now i miss the US more than ever. I miss so many aspects of home that i never thought i would say!

I miss the smell of the fall, the beauty of the Black Hills as the colors change. I miss the crisp nights that tell you that winter is coming. Not that i am a fan, but i actually miss football, i can almost taste those fall nights as they turn to winter...The kids back in school, the bustle at the mall as activities move indoors, the coming of Halloween which is such a fun time for the children! I miss the deep family feeling you get right down in your soul as Thanksgiving nears and then best of all Christmas!

I am not a cold kind of person, i would prefer to be warm at all times, but right now i have to say i miss the changing of the seasons! I miss the Rush Hockey games with my family and the morning walks with Ryan and the dogs. I miss heading to Terry Peak with Jeremy and Ryan, although i believe firmly in the make a run down the slope then stop at the lodge for a drink and a chance to warm up. I miss the magic of that very first snow fall, and the way the air seems alive! I miss our home nestled so perfectly in our own little piece of Black Hills heaven and all of the opportunity that it holds for us.

I miss taking drives through the hills and stopping at the Alpine Inn for an amazing steak dinner. I miss meeting up with friends downtown for a drink and some dancing, although being pregnant it will have to be a virgin drink and possibly not so much dancing, but still!

I love the adventure that Ryan and i are sharing together, but i will be ready in 2 or 3 years to get back to that life, the rest of my life! I am ready now!

Smitten

I have to say that never in my life have i felt all these emotions balled into one! Pregnancy is a roller coaster, its filled with joy, fear, excitement, worry, love, adoration and so many other things that i cant even think of how to put into words. This pregnancy is no exception, i have been up and down, and mostly i stand in awe of Gods amazing grace and power!

Yesterday Ryan and i had the NT scan which is the big scan to check for any sign of abnormalities or problems, and to our elation our baby was so very active! I did however feel bad for my doctor as she was trying to take some very important measurements and pictures, but our naughty baby did eventually hold still long enough for her to do what she needed to do, and the results were such a weight off of my mind! Our baby falls into the great percentile, showing no concerning markers of abnormality or distress! Finally some news that gave me the chance to breath! I have all my faith in God on the protection, development and care of this baby and when i close my eyes and pray about it i see our beautiful baby laying safely in Gods hands!

Ryan i think made my heart nearly overflow with love the most! He was such a joy to have as he excitedly responded to every movement, view and picture that was taken with childlike wonder and joy! I love how in love with the baby he is, and i am blessed to have such a wonderful man as my husband!

We will be heading home in 4 days and we are both so very ready for a break! It will be refreshing to spend a relaxing few weeks with friends and family!!!!

I posted Ryan's favorite picture of the baby also...It appears that the baby is sucking its thumb, he was so thrilled by this :)