Home, home, home!!!!

What a great time we had in NJ with my sister and her family, although i must say it was not enough time! We got to take a break from all of the flying and relax with them! Ryan and i took the girls to the boardwalk, and enjoyed some huge slices of pizza and some cold sand between our toes....It was wonderful!

Now due to my respect for the airline industry, i will not name names, but my final straw has been met with a "certain" airline and Ryan and i will no longer be using there services and are actually so fed up that we will be throwing away his return flight on them to fly another airline! Twice burned is all it takes for me! We arrived at the airport to check in when we were told that our connection would be impossible "due to weather" and that we would have to stay overnight in Minneapolis and then take a connection the following day (quick reminder of a December entry of my nightmare of getting home as this same airline stranded me in a city and i had to have my dad drive 5 hours in a blizzard to come get me). I started laughing the moment she started speaking and will admit that i was a bit rude, but as i asked "so are you going to pay for this hotel room, since this is the second time your airline has left me stranded with no compensation?" She of course responded "no" and that it was a weather delay, although it seems that there was no weather as many angry passengers did a bit of research....Needless to say i was furious and so separated myself from the situation and let my calm husband deal with it. I have full intentions of sending the airline there measly $25 "sorry" airline voucher back (considering that when i entered in the last one a few days after i received it and was told it was invalid and absolutely useless) and letting them know that they apparently need the money more than we do! Customer service is just not what it used to be, and the airline industries need to re-evaluate what is important, but that is just my opinion! I made Ryan solemnly swear that he would never apply for a position with this airline as i would be embarrassed to have him work for them, he said not a chance!

Enough of that rampage.....

Being back home is great, I am loving spending time with my family and friends, and being back in my home on my turf....Its like a dream! I have missed it all so much!!!!!

Leaving on a Jet plane

We are heading back to the USA in a few hours and i am just killing time and reflecting a lot. "Outsourced" is on TV and it has to be my absolute favorite movie. It is literally what it is like to be an ExPat in India, it does not exaggerate at all. I cant get over how accurate it is or how much i can relate to the movie...I laugh every time i see it!

I am very excited to go home for awhile, but honestly there are parts of my life in India that i am going to miss, even though it is only for a short while. Last night Swami our landlord stopped by and he is such a wonderful man. He misunderstood and thought that i was leaving for good, and was disappointed telling me that he had intended to present me with a Sari. What a kind and generous heart he has, he always aims to please! I explained that we will be back very soon!

It will be nearly 2 months before i will see Becca and Justin and i will miss getting to spend time with them. When we come back there will be so much going on, people arriving to join the group and all of the medical things that Ryan and i will be going through when we return. Just so very much to do and think about. I hope that our time home will be a nice relaxing break from the rushing life that goes on around us. I am so excited that we will get to see my sister and her family in New Jersey on our way back, it has been far to long.

Well I suppose it is time for me to finish getting read.....USA, here we come!!!!!

Going home

Time seems to have come to a halt and i even entertained the idea of trying to sleep through the next few days so that it will go faster. We are now only 4 days from heading home and i can nearly taste it! I cant seem to find anything useful to occupy my time and with Ryan doing an over night in Pune today was pure torture of boredom!

We have so much that we need to get accomplished while we are home and it is turning into less of a vacation and more of a massive project, which is OK for me since my life is a permanent vacation but i feel very bad for Ryan...These trips home are his leisure time and i don't want him to work the whole time that we are home, but i suppose that is life!

So much is going on in my life that it hardly feels real, houses to buy, projects to work on, getting pregnant and still finding time to enjoy our friends and family as well as our time with each other somewhere there in between! Parts of my brain refuse to calm down and seem to run endlessly, just so much. Its not that i am complaining, quite the contrary, i thank God for every last thing that is going on. He is answering a lot of prayers, not just for me but for those around me, and he is doing amazing works!

When i go home i get to meet 2 very precious new babies, see countless dear friends, spend time with my family that i adore, and see my puppies that i miss desperately! The fact that this return trip home is in a different time in Ryan and my life is also such a blessing. We have truly grown close to each other and we are best friends. I cant get over how in love i am with him right now, how strong and amazing he is to me....I cant wait to fall in love with him over and over and over again, and i also know that if we listen to God's calling that we are certain to have some amazing adventures to come.....

Wandering Mind

I have been losing a lot of sleep lately, but the insomnia is different then the past, now i find my mind obsessing over my impending IVF. Every scary thought that my brain can create is coming into play...What if i go home on block off and my hormones needed to be adjusted and i am not here for them to do it and i lose the baby, what if i am too over weight and it causes complications, what if, what if, what if....I repeatedly turn it over to God and i trust him completely, but i cant seem to kick the thoughts out of my head!!!!

I am very excited to get started and the prospect of being pregnant before summers end is almost euphoric...I never thought that this could happen and its happening so soon!!!!! Becca and i have spent much time discussing what this all means for the future and i am so happy that we are going to be able to do this together and that i have her in my life. I just know that this is going to be an amazing experience and i am excited to have the opportunity to have my child in India and all the adventures that baby is going to have before it even goes to school. How amazing it will be for the child to have a claim to India and all the benefits of being a person of Indian origin will offer through out his/her life! I have fears, but mostly i am excited, i know that God is going to do something amazing, he already has!

The Aftermath

Last night was amazing!!!! We had an incredible storm that moved in and dropped massive amounts of rain, flooding our neighborhood, taking out healthy adult trees, cutting the power for hours and crazy winds ripped through and terrorized every thing in its path! I have never experienced a storm like this and surprisingly enough neither had many of the locals. This storm was much more hazardous than the usual monsoon, which are about to begin, and caused far more damage! Knee deep standing water was right outside our front door, and so being typical boys they decided it would be fun to take my scooter out in the mess...So Scott stripped down to boxers and took it for a quick ride around our neighborhood...At one point the water was well over the exhaust of the bike, but he managed to keep it running and get it back up in the driveway!

Today we drove around town, and the damage was insane, power lines down everywhere, massive signs of steel bent like string, as well as trees and debris all over the place...I can not even imagine how terrifying last night must have been to all of our neighborhood slums that are merely tents on the ground, they must have been very scared, i cant even imagine...

The only good thing about the rain is it cooled today off considerably, giving us a 90F day instead of the usual 105F. It was nice to get some relief from the heat!

Naughty Goat

Ryan and i had a fun day of driving around the city and going to see Monsters Vs Aliens 3D, but when we parked in the lot at the Imax we saw a most interesting sight, OK probably not interesting for India, but it certainly made us giggle....All i have to say is that i am happy it wasn't my bike being used by a goat as a step stool LOL!!!!!

Days of our lives

Today was a great day...It was so very hot that we had to stay inside for a good part of the day, but for the first time in a very long time all 6 of us were not only in town, but none were working! We all sat around and hung out, just talking about nothing and enjoying our time together as a group.

We all decided it would be nice to go to the Novotel and have Mexican food, so the 6 of us got on the bikes as the sun started to set and headed into town...I couldn't help but giggle as i watched the reaction of peoples faces as we drove down the street. It never fails to draw attention, 6 white people on bikes in the middle of Hyderabad India, what a sight!

We enjoyed a great meal with amazing friends and honestly i came to realize that at some point India has truly become home, and these friends have become family! I can hardly remember what it was like not to live in India, and i really do love this opportunity! I will miss it when it is over, but i am ready for a little break back home...Only 15 days to go!

I have been trying to figure out exactly what it is about India that captivates me, and i think i finally nailed it down...This place is like stepping back in time...You drive down the streets and you see newer technology some how intermingled with the past. You still have people living so primitively, and yet they all have cell phones. It is nearly humorous how mixed together the past in present are here. Driving down the road and actually having to pass wagons pulled by cows is not something you would still see in modern times, but over here it is just a daily occurrence. I remember when seeing people riding camels was exciting and so amazing to me and now it is just another mode of transportation that i hardly give a second thought. You have modern housing mixed in with tents and huts with dirt floors. You have people living in tent communities with no sewers, no bathrooms, no bedrooms, no kitchens...Just a simple tarp house with a dirt floor and possible a pad for a bed, they cook outside as a community over a fire with children and chickens and dogs just running all over the place. Honestly i feel like i get to witness something so ancient and i love that i get to experience this!

Tonight an amazing thunderstorm rolled in, of course kicking out the power repeatedly, but it cooled off the night and cleaned the polluted air. It was so refreshing, and i love thunderstorms so much so i found it soothing. We are all hopeful that the monsoons will move in soon so that we can escape this heat. Our average temperature has been in the 40's for weeks now (104F seems to be the daily norm).

We continue to suffer from insomnia due to the intense heat, which never lets up...It is still nearly 100F and it is almost midnight! When i do sleep my dreams are plagued with nightmares of being very pregnant and miscarrying, I guess i know what my subconscious is most concerned with as we draw nearer to our July date for starting IVF. I for the most part have remained calm and level and am going to not worry, but just let it happen...I know i will get pregnant and i know that i will have our baby, so i need to just stay relaxed and trust God.

Everything still remains in a state of unrest, but i have fully let go of it all and i know that all that we need will come to us some way or another. God didn't take us to this point to just leave us, and so I am no longer going to worry about things i have no control over.

Third world living

Today Scott, Ryan, and I all went up the road to have some bread toast, and bread omelets and when i started to read the paper a story of Cholera caught my eye....

Now I have remained pretty calm over most of the scares...I get bit by and average of 3 mosquito's a day, but i am not worried about Malaria...Swine flu, although serious was not upsetting to me because hundreds of people die from the flu every year and i honestly feel that a lot of people over reacted a bit much over this outbreak, but that is fine...to each there own. Cholera, is a bit more scary for me considering the mortality rate in this day and age is still relatively high! So reading in the paper that there is in fact a Cholera outbreak here in Hyderabad is not exactly what i want to hear. Ryan and i do not drink the water, but we do brush our teeth with it and shower in it, so i guess that is going to have to be re though. I am not going to freak out and get myself all worked up over this, but i am going to use caution...Which brings me back to my original thought....I do live in a 3rd world country...Some days i forget that!

Here is a link to one of the articles, just copy and paste into your browser:

http://sify.com/news/fullstory.php?a=jfjr9ofebaf&title=16_cholera_cases_confirmed_in_Hyderabad

Failed the test

Well i guess we all have stumbling moments, but today i didn't stumble....I FELL FLAT ON MY FACE! Ryan and i were faced with a HUGE financial burden and basically one that will challenge all of our hope and dreams....So what did i do, did i remain calm and try to remember that this is out of my hands???? Did i cling to my husband and tell him that it was going to be OK???? Did i see this test of faith as a chance to put my full trust in God???? NO!!!! Instead i threw a fit, screamed at my husband, demanded that he "fix it" immediately, all the while letting the panic over take me and completely freaking out!

Now that i am calm, and i have emotionally lost it, i am taking a deep breath, and i am going to do all of those things i should have done in the first place...When we overcome this obstacle there will in fact be no doubt that God was looking out for us, because right now at this very moment all of our hopes are standing on the razors edge.......I'm going to yet again, LET GO AND LET GOD!

What a Wild Ride

Today i took some time to reflect on all that has happened in my life since my first visit to India 6 months ago...So much has changed, it is almost unimaginable! I have seen and experienced so much, I nearly need to pinch myself to bring the reality of it all into focus!

I have now lived in a foreign country for nearly 4 months. I have layed on the red sand beaches of Goa, and watched the sun set on the Arabian Sea. I have explored many cities of India and have found my place amongst its chaos. I have traveled to Thailand and experienced its amazing culture and beauty. I have been to England and seen a small piece of its historic lands. I have done things that many in their lifetime will never get the chance to do, and i feel blessed because of it! This whole experience has changed me...

I am now more in love with my husband than i ever thought possible. I have discovered deeper and truer friendships than i ever believed i would have. I have felt the sorrow of suffering around me and i have reached my hand out to it and tried not to turn a blind eye. I now know the greatness of miracles and the amazing gift of answered prayer. I found myself and i was able to make the changes that needed changing and to follow the path i believe i was always meant to follow. I have found peace and tranquility in all of it!

I will never be able to put into words what India brought to my life, but it is a gift i will never forget and it will be with me for the rest of my life. I no longer fear the unknown, because i know that God has got it under control. I no longer walk all of this alone, because my best friend is my husband and his love is enough to get me thought the darkest moment. I have an amazing family and wonderful friends and i couldn't be happier with all of these things.

I don't believe that life is going to always be this simple and i expect that we have some rocky roads ahead as we begin the process of starting a family while still living in this ExPat life, but i do know that with the amazing support that surrounds us, that together Ryan and i will get through anything!

I dreaded turning 30, it was actually a very upsetting thing for me...Whats funny is that 30 has become my favorite year. It is the year that i learned so much about myself, the year that certainly "grew me up", the year that took me out of my comfort zone and made me see the path that i was on was wrong and got me back in line...It is the start of a brand new decade for me, and i am so excited to see what is in store for us.....

Time after time

Life has been pretty quiet over here in Hyderabad. Ryan and i are anxiously counting down the days until we get to go home for a visit, and of course that means that time is virtually standing still!!! It has been hotter than the blazes over here, and average of 100+ everyday for the last week, so we try to spend time in doors during the day!

Ryan has been flying a lot and with the guys working and Becca on vacation i have had a lot of time to really sit down and think...I have made a few very difficult changes in my life this last week, and have ended a few friendships that i felt no longer were appropriate for where i was in my life...Needless to say it has been a hard week, and i find myself getting rather emotional about some of these things....I suppose that we all have to grow up at some time, and this is my time...I am ready for the new chapter in my life, I am ready for Ryan and i to add a baby to our family and i guess this has changed me all the way around! I don't desire the same things i used to so i guess you could say that i have finally left my 20's behind me! I am ready to move forward with my few very special close friends and my family...I have realized that as long as i have Ryan i will be just fine! I never thought that i would let myself be so open to another man again, i really thought that part of my heart had been permanently closed off after my divorce, but Ryan has become the most important person in my whole world over these last 4 months, and i am so thankful that God put us here for me to discover it!!!!

My heart has been forever changed, and i have walked away from a past of mistakes, not with regret, but with a sense of knowledge as i have learned form my MANY mistakes....I have not always made the best decisions, but i have always tried to apply what i have learned and to not repeat those mistakes, and so i cannot say i regret, because all of those things helped to make me who i am today.....

I am still learning to put faith in God, and to not sweat the big stuff, but i find myself handling situations with less fear and more calm. Our job situation remains the same, but i know it will be ok so i am not worried. When we get back from the US we get to start trying to have a baby, so that keeps my heart skipping a beat, I AM SO READY FOR ALL OF THIS!!!!

What the Blazes....

So it was an unbelievable 42C today, for those of you who speak Fahrenheit it was 108F!!!!! Normally on a hot day a bike ride is perfect because the moving air cools you down, but when it is this hot the air is so warm that there is just no relief!!!!

Ryan and i went to the IMax to see Under the Sea in 3D...It was pretty cool! Then we drove from one side of the city to the other trying to find a restaurant that was open for dinner! They are on the European meal schedule over here which has been a challenge for us Americans to adjust to, I try to never eat after 7 but that is when restaurants open for dinner here...So finally we ended up at the Novotel, Ryan's first home in Hyderabad, and fortunately for us they serve food 24 hours a day so we were able to eat at a normal time!!!! I have gained at least 10 pounds alone from simply having to eat dinner so close to bed time! I cant wait to get back to the US and enjoy some of the things that i have grown accustom to...It will be nice to get home!

I also find myself getting more and more excited to get home with each passing day!!! I have missed everyone and everything so much and i love my country so it is going to be great to spend a month back home! Then when we get back it will be time to start trying for that baby!!!! YAY