Hobbit feet

Well i am well into my 38th week now, and things seemed to have settled down a bit, praise God! My contractions, although still coming on fairly strong are far less frequent. I have actually even gotten some energy back and have spent some time with friends having fun and focusing on other things. It is such a relief to have Ryan back home and to know that he wont be leaving India again until after the baby is born.

This week i fondly refer to as the swelling week!!!! My toes look like sausages, my ankles are cankles for sure and the tops of my feet are dimpled from so much swelling. Ryan does his best to rub them out, but at this point unless i stand on my head 24/7 the swelling is not going to go down. I cant use the pool due to the UTI and other infections i may have picked up at this late point in my pregnancy and i am sad to know that i will not get to take a dip again until 6 weeks after Baby P arrives as well, i miss the pool already!

We go back to the Doctor on Tuesday to find out if things are progressing or if we have come to a standstill and to check on my UTI. I am dying to meet our baby, i just cant wait! Ryan was so sweet and bought the baby a stuffed dog so that he can teach it about DeoGie, who will for sure be baby P's very best friend! We are both trying to stay clear of baby things because we no longer have self control and would buy everything in sight if we could. In true Karen tradition i have purchased and Eeyore for Baby P and since Tigger is Ryan's favorite we got one of those too. Yup, i think we are ready!

Labor or not

With Ryan leaving for Thailand so close to my due date i was already distressed, and then he left and things began to happen....

I went to the hospital Sunday with bad abdominal pain and the on call doctor sent me home with tylenol and suggested rest thinking that it was just the baby's new position. I returned to the hospital Monday hoping to see my doctor but she was not in, but the doctor i did see listened to me and agreed it sounded like a bladder infection and began treatment. I went home promising to return on Wednesday to follow up with my doctor. By Wednesday the pain was still barely tolerable but i felt confident with the diagnosis and at least was feeling emotionally better. When i stepped foot into my doctors office she was not pleased with my appearance (suggesting politely how horrible i looked). I hadn't slept at all since Sunday and with Ryan being gone and this agonizing pain i was at the end of my rope. She asked if i would let her admit me for some IV fluids and IV antibiotics and a sedative and in tears i agreed. She then ran the test to watch my contractions and the baby heartbeat and decided that she had to keep me overnight. The contractions were strong and regular, not Braxton Hicks. She suggested Ryan return as soon as he could so he arranged to come home Friday morning, 8 hours earlier than originally planned but still nearly 48 hours later. Wednesday night when checked i was still 0/0 so at least i was not going to have the baby then and there. Wednesday night was filled with contractions, and tests revealed that my contractions were not backing down. Thursday afternoon they switched from being uncomfortable to being extremely painful as i was now dealing with contractions over a bladder infection and full on back labor. My doctor decided it was time to check me and i had dilated 1cm overnight, not leaps and bounds but unfortunately it was signs of things progressing. She was shocked however that it wasn't more based on how strong some of the contractions they were measuring were, and she is convinced that i stopped my progression by mere will power waiting for Ryan to arrive. I know it was God who stopped my progression as i felt him in the room with me watching over me all the while. Ryan and i kept in contact, and believe it or not i was VERY calm, normally that would be unheard of but i was. I knew that God had it under control. Becca came and sat with me Thursday night and came prepared to wait the night out with me if she had to (very sweet of someone with an infant at home). My contractions began to calm, although still painful, far less intense and far less frequent through the night and by morning my hopes and prayers were answered, Ryan was home and i was being released. I am so grateful for my doctor, she is such a kind and caring woman and she is right on top of all things happening. I know that i am in the best care!

I have had contractions all day since i returned home, but they are not out of control and i am confident i now know what i am looking for in active labor contractions. I will go back on Tuesday for a follow up and pray that i don't get admitted again, but if i do Ryan will be here. We will see how long Baby P holds out since our doctor thinks that the ball is now rolling, possibly slowly, but rolling none the less.

Hibiscus crazy!!!!!

This will be my first attempt ever at keeping plants alive. Anyone who knows me knows that i love Hibiscus, i have them tattooed on my body as well. So when i moved to India and found out that these beautiful flowers thrive here i was so excited to get my hands on some. I have never had a green thumb and even killed a spider plant that was given to me, and i have been told that they practically grow themselves. So for now i have a pink hibiscus and a yellow/purple hibiscus to try my hand at. We also bought a vine flower, not sure what it is, that has already wrapped itself around our porch railing. It seems to flower every night and then wither in the day heat. I was excited to see that my pink Hibiscus flowered this morning, cant wait to see my Yellow/purple come to life!

Lets see how long i can keep these guys alive!!!!!

Monkey Business

I love the funny things you can see when you stop and just start watching the world around you. I was out on my porch near sunset when the drama began to unfold. Unfortunately i was not able to get my long range lens on my camera in time to catch the monkey on film, but the story is just as fun.

There is a cute little farm right across the street from our apartment and it is our main view. It is surrounded by a very high privacy wall and i noticed that a man inside the farm was chasing a monkey. At first i thought i was imagining it but then i noticed the men on the outside looking over the fence, it was apparently their monkey. The farm is very lush so i could not follow the action but after a few minutes the men inside the farm chased the monkey back over the fence towards the men that owned it. Then they gave chase to this monkey wearing a leash but to no avail as he escaped back over the fence and onto the farm land yet again. All of the people in the surrounding area were pointing and talking about what was going on and it was fun to watch everyone react to the situation. Unfortunately the monkey decided to head away from my building and so the men continued their pursuit until they were out of my sight.

I took some pictures that i truly enjoy because they are simply pictures of the wild world around me that i sometimes forget about. How often do you get to watch men chasing their pet monkey around, cows wandering down a busy street or find a cobra on the street across from your Villa. I know for me these experiences are once in a lifetime and i hope that i never stop watching the world around me or take for granted this experience that God has given me.

It is really simple in life to get distracted and caught up in ones self, to become complacent. The same goes for all of the blessings i have received. I have been pregnant now for nearly 37 weeks, and in the beginning i was in so much awe and amazement at Gods great miracle and gift that it consumed me. I am sad to say that i allowed that fire to weaken and i am deeply saddened by that. God has blessed us so richly with a gift that we are hardly deserving of. This baby is ours only because God chose to bless us with it and i hope that my eyes stay open to that always! It is sad enough to miss the world around you but it is heartbreaking to miss one minute of what God has planned. As my due date draws near i will remember this always and do my best to stay focused on all that is being given to me! I was given something precious and amazing and that should never be overlooked!

Pregnant Pilots Wife

I had finally come to terms with Ryan leaving this week for Bangkok telling myself, "it is only 6 days" and then i looked at his schedule.....

Between his Bangkok trip, his run to Pune, and his trip to Mumbai, Ryan will be gone for nearly 2 solid weeks leaving me alone all the way up to a few days into my 39th week! Then i get a phone call telling me today that he has to leave for Bangkok a day earlier than planned. Scariest of all is that i will have only his hotel number to contact him through while in Bangkok, which means that if an emergency arises and he is out and about or in the SIM i have no way to reach him and have to rely on hotel staff to pass a message along when he does return!

Anyone can say anything they want, but i am here, he will be there, this is my FIRST pregnancy and probably my last and i don't care how strong other women are I NEED my husband to be here with me! I cried for nearly an hour today with the knowledge that these next two weeks may be hard for me as i continue to change daily and my body continues to prepare for the big day. I don't want to experience my first labor pains alone, i don't want to have to time contractions by myself and try to reassure myself that it is false labor. I don't want to have to go through this alone.

I know that God is in control and has a plan and i trust him, but i think i am allowed a little bit of apprehension due to circumstances. This is not ideal! Even my landlord asked me today how i feel about him being gone and why we were allowing this, my only response is "what choice do we have". Out of the 7 of us Expats that are all here together, 3 are back in the USA, Ryan is all over India and Thailand, Justin is working, and Becca has a young baby to care for. That really doesn't leave much of a backup plan. I am sure there are other women out there that can handle the thought of having a baby alone, but i am NOT one of them! I need my center, i need Ryan to keep me calm and he is the only person i have ever known who could calm me down. I am sure that these 10 days will pass without any big events but for now i am just holding my breath and praying diligently over it all!

4 weeks to go....letter to family and friends

Look how far we have come.....from a mere dream to nearly holding my miracle in my arms!!!!!

I am now 36 weeks, and had my weekly Dr visit yesterday. Things are looking good. Baby P is doing all the right things! I had noticed a change and so had asked the Dr if maybe the baby had dropped. I have tons of energy now despite NO sleep and am Nesting like a mad woman! I am hungry like a growing teenage boy and i can finally eat more than a handful of food. My feet are swollen to scary proportion, all of these being signs of the baby dropping. She did a pelvic and said the baby was engaged, meaning it had dropped into my pelvis although my cervix is still thick so it will drop more, but my cervix is beginning to soften. I am still 0% dilated and she mentioned that things will progress nicely for me once i begin labor (i have no idea what that means or how she knows that but it was comforting to hear). Keep on praying because Ryan leaves for Bangkok on the 21st and comes back on the 26th then leaves for Pune on the 28th comes back on the 31st then a day in Mumbai on the 1st. This leaves him gone for nearly 2 weeks and right up until my 39th week. The Dr tells me to keep telling the baby to stay put and offered to stop labor if i go, but being i will be full term next wed i would not want her to stop it if it occurs naturally. We have put our full faith in God, and this has been his miracle from the start so i am going to stay calm and keep praying. Ryan has written his chief pilot and explained that no matter how important the SIM session of the flight he may be operating if i go into labor he will be flying back to me immediately and the Chief pilot said OK. Bangkok is only 6 hours away from Hyderabad so i think it will be OK. Last night was my last shot, that is nearly 150 shots in the butt over the last 8 months, and i am so relieved to get a break. Things are good here, Ryan and i are extremely happy in our new home and it is finally decorated so i will have to send pictures. I spend nearly an hour in the pool every day as it is the only way to get the swelling out of my feet. For the first time in over a year in India we feel settled and "at home". I still cant believe how much God has blessed us. Nearly a year ago i had given up on having a baby, then i had IVF with only a 30% success rate and conceived on the first try, other than the loss of our sweet twin my complications have been non existent despite the fact that i should be an extremely high risk pregnancy, I have experienced the joys and pains of pregnancy, and soon will get to experience the miracle of birth and then the most amazing of all...to hold our miracle baby in our arms....If that doesn't give you goosebumps i don't know what will.....GOD IS AMAZING!!!!!!!

India is.........

India....

I think of bright sari's blowing in the breeze from balconies. Majestic Palms bringing shade to all below. The mix of ancient ritual and modern day concrete jungles. A true mix of past, present and future all combined into one big mixing pot. There is no place quite like it i am sure. Where else can you drive down the street and see new cars mixed with camels and cows pulling old carts. A brand new mall snug up against a hut and tent village, no more than slums but filled with family and tradition. A growing city of sky scrapers dwarfing primitive farms and tin shack homes.

It is not the India that you see on TV unless you are in the bush. When you visit the cities of India you experience not the vast wild jungle and villages but a primitive mixture of new and old. Children running down the streets rolling tires with sticks and wild dogs mixed with chickens and cows being moved in herds to their night time resting place. In India you can see a cobra or a monkey in the middle of all the chaos if you are lucky and there are insects here that seem to have come from a time of giants.

With enough money you can have most of the comforts of 1st world living, but you will never be able to forget that you are in fact in a 3rd world country. Cities overflow with millions of people and there seems to be no end to the city, very little country to find. You are not able to turn a blind eye to the poverty but there is no amount of money that one person can provide to change the Cass system that is old as time in India.

It is a land of many religions and many beliefs and there seems to be a general acceptance of all of these. You will find big cities in India to be a mixing pot of not only religion but also races and nationalities. It is a country filled with Expats and nationals, all working together to better the country. It is a place filled with vibrant colors and industrial haze as far as the eye can see.

Things i never thought i would get to do....

Be silly with my hubby all of the time because everyone already looks at us like we are crazy so why not.

Be pregnant let alone in a 3rd world country.

Have a personal driver.

Live in a high rise.

Spend every morning at the pool.

Play "bumper cars" in the elevator with my hubby.

Play ping pong in the dining hall with no ping pong table.

Spend my days pondering how amazing this adventure is.

Go for fun rides on the motorcycle (yes, i have permission from my OBGYN)

Learn to let go, live, laugh, smile and have fun nearly every day.

To cherish every second knowing that it will someday end.

To get to be a citizen of the world for awhile.

To have lived away from the usual and to better appreciate the friends and family waiting back home.

To share this adventure with some truly amazing people.

To be thankful to God for EVERYTHING that he provides.

India, although home for now only reminds me of how privileged i am to be a United States Citizen. I will never take for granted all that God has given us, and i will never forget India.

Missing my hubby

We have been in the new place for nearly a week and things are finally starting to feel settled. I have been working on decorating and it is starting to feel like home (with the help of some serious nesting energy). I love, love, love the pool and i wish i had more time to soak in it, but as work continues on the place someone has to be here to be sure things get done. I have been taking nearly nightly walks around the complex, but as my feet become more and more swollen it is becoming much to uncomfortable to do. I will try to continue but i am not sure that it will be possible. Elevation does nothing for them and my compression hose only help if i can get them on before the swelling starts, but that would require the swelling to stop!

As i near my 9th month i am sad at how little Ryan is around. He keeps getting called to work extra shifts and they have him scheduled so much. We only have 4 days and 9 nights together for the rest of March and the month just started. It is a bit nerve racking to be apart so much right now, but i do have friends in the building and so i know it will be OK.

I honestly can not believe my due date is 5 short weeks away...WOW how time flies! I am definitely ready to have this sweet little angel, my body just doesn't work very well now that i am so far along. I want to hold my baby and cuddle it, and have it be the reason i am up all night and not just having to pee or because the belly is hurting.

Baby P is so much fun right now as there is no room left to hide. I can always find a knee or foot to poke and Baby P seems to like to play back. I am dying to meet my baby!!!!!! There are so many exciting things to find out, boy or girl, what will you look like, will you be dark brown eyed or hazel like your daddy, will you have a full head of black hair or will you be a brunette, will you have beautiful tan skin or equally beautiful fair skin....All of these things are so exciting for us and we just cant wait to meet you because you will be the most beautiful baby in the whole world (yes, all parents say that i know).

I cant wait until tomorrow for the scan, i just love seeing Baby P.

Moving in India

*partial view of the pool and playground area from our tower*

Well it is done, we are officially moved into Aparna Towers and let me tell you...Moving in India makes moving a whole house in the USA look like a cake walk! Its not that the actual business of moving is hard, its getting into the new place when you are supposed to and praying that they have everything done.

*View from our balcony of a small farm plot*

Our apartment is brand new. We are the first people to ever live in it so we expect that we are going to have some kinks to work out but that is not even the challenging part. When we arrived yesterday to move in we were greeted with workers tearing up tiles, patching holes, electricians wiring and everything else...Our "finished" apartment it seems was no longer finished and still needed a few days work. We were committed though since we had everything we owned on the truck and our old apartment keys turned in so construction site or not we were moving in!

*kitchen*

Ryan and Saleem got our new bed put together in no time and we started cleaning around all the mess and putting stuff away. The apartment was a bustle of activity and we have learned that when it comes to India you just have to go with the flow. I didn't do any of the actual moving but i definitely over did and by night time my feet were so swollen and i could barely walk. It was nice when all of the workers left and Ryan and i were just able to order pizza (delivery is something i will never take for granted again) and relax.

*Dining hall looking in from the living room towards the kitchen and balcony*

Day 2 was eventful with workers once again in and out all day, and amazingly enough the Internet was hooked up right away in the morning which was a huge relief to me because i have bills to pay and other things i rely on Internet for. The satellite TV (was supposed to be simple) turned out to be the really big problem! Our tower it appears was not set up yet with the wiring and so would require them to run wires in walls from the roof (13 story apartment building complex) down to the 10th floor where we live. I guess i will see if they show up tomorrow to get the job done. Fortunately Saleem was here for a good part of the day communicating with the workers and explaining what needed to be done. It is so nice to have an advocate, i will say that he is so much more than just our driver and we couldn't have done half of the things we have done with out him, well we could but it would have been a pain!

*master bedroom*

*Baby P's room*

I love all of the amenities here. We have a beautiful pool that no one uses. There is a brand new gym, that no one uses. Daily yoga classes, that lots of people go to. A game area with pool tables and ping pong, that no one uses. There is a great little park with a play area for the kids in the center of the towers that Baby P will love. They also have a bad mitten course, but i am thinking although the net is low volleyball would be a lot of fun! There is a great path around the entire complex for walking that Ryan and i have already taken advantage of. This definitely feels much more like home and i will enjoy this being our first home together with Baby P. Of course our home back in the USA is where my heart is, but we will be living here for a few more years so it is best to make this home as well!!!! Being close to all of our friends again is also an amazing bonus!

*Living room looking in from the dining hall*

The place is still a mess and we aren't done furnishing it yet, but i will post a few pictures for now since i am having so many requests. After i get done decorating i will have to post again! For now i am heading down to the pool to give my weary pregnant body a much deserved soak. Only 5 weeks to go until Baby P is scheduled to make his/her appearance, although i am betting i will go long! I am so excited to hold, squeeze and cuddle my sweet little baby!!!!

*view of the dining hall and 2 bedrooms facing living room from Baby P's room*