Going home

Well it is that time again....oh, wait...this is the FIRST time ever for Ryan and i that we are actually going home at the 8 week mark, and i am cheating and leaving 2 weeks early!!!! I am so very excited to get home for the Holidays, this time of year means so much to me and to get to spend it with my husband and my family and friends is awesome!

I am getting sort of sad about leaving before Ryan, honestly i don't know how we used to go up to 12 weeks without seeing each other (and we did this for nearly a year) and now i cant go two days without him. This is going to be a long 2 weeks! It will be good to get home though. This will be our last trip for 6 months so we are going to live it up! So much to get done in so little time. I have been the little Internet shopper trying to get everything that we need for the baby taken care of so that i don't have to spend my entire time home shopping, although i probably will anyways. I still have to finish Christmas shopping...nothing like putting it off to the last minute, although in my case i really didn't have much of a choice!

I suppose i should get to packing...Wishing every one a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Bangkok Baby

What a great way to spend a few days together! Ryan had a sim session in Bangkok so the baby and i tagged along. We enjoyed loads of great food and some great times. The flight over was a piece of cake and for that i am thankful and Bangkok was a perfect vacation. I have to say that if you have never been there and you ever get the chance GO! It is one of my very favorite places on the planet, and now i have actually been to some places so i can say that LOL.

When we left India i was still not really showing, and then like everyone said it happened...I woke up "pregnant" in Thailand. Ryan walked into the bathroom and just stopped, saying "wow, look at you...you are pregnant." It was so nice to finally start to show especially because the baby has been moving so much and i am sure it needs more room now. Getting to feel your baby kick punch squirm roll and move every day makes pregnancy "real". I have to say that before that first kick it was all very unreal to me and now i am really starting to feel really connected to our baby. It is already starting to have routines, although it is still a bit early to be expecting it to follow its routines, but it tends to be really active in the morning and the evening. My second day in Bangkok though it was very quiet, and that made me nervous (yes, i still worry daily about the baby and sometimes worry too much). So at first i tried the usual tricks that make the baby move, eat a snack and then lay down, walk around a bit then relax but i was getting nothing, so this Mommy came up with her own little "wake up baby scheme". I decided to head for the pool which had been pretty cold the day before and me and baby took a swim. That did it almost instantly, as i eased on into the water and it covered my belly i was almost instantly greeted with a jump and then a nice big kick to the bladder, guess i deserved that, but in all fairness the pool felt nice because it was pretty warm out. Baby and i warmed up poolside and i tell you what that baby was ACTIVE the rest of the trip. Actually as i write this i am getting some good belly kicks and punches. Ryan and i love to lay there and hands on belly and giggle at all of the kicks and punches. I am so happy that he gets to share it all with me and i know that he loves feeling his little kick boxer beat me up.

I leave to head back to the USA in just 5 days and i am so very happy to be getting to spend time with family and friends for this holiday season, i am really going to miss Ryan for the 2 weeks we are apart. I am so used to having him around now that the idea of being apart hurts. Its only 2 weeks so i will survive, but i also am not a big fan of traveling alone. As my belly continues to expand my back and my sides are protesting and i get pretty sore and it is nice to have him around for encouragement and to lift the heavy things like our bags.

It is official, we have decided not to find out the sex of our baby. We have waited this long (20 weeks) and we can wait 20 more. We picked out our baby names the week before my IVF so we already know what we will call it when it is born....We are getting so excited to meet our little Noah Ryan or Ella Mae Gertie and we are halfway there!!!!!

Blame the hormones

I don't know why but i have a bad attitude today, actually i am just downright angry with no apparent cause. I am just really frustrated by so many things, and i suppose the stress over worrying about my 20 week scan today may be taking its toll. I know that the baby is doing great and that God is watching over and protecting it but i cant help but get a bit uneasy before scans especially when it has been over a month since the last time we saw our baby.

Adding some more fun to the mix, i am struggling this week with the usual pregnancy things...constipation that never ends (do you know how many days a human can go without "going" to the bathroom before they explode????? I am about to find out so i will let you know) and the insomnia WOW, they are not joking when they say that pregnancy insomnia is preparing you for parenthood...my nightly ritual 6-8pm (seriously so tired cant stay up much later) lay down and attempt to settle down 8-10pm toss and turn but sleep a little 10pm wake up to pee 10-12am toss and turn and sleep a little 12am wake up to pee 12-2am sleep a little bit more soundly 2am wake up to pee 2-4am sleep soundly enough to have scary and disturbing dreams, wake up put in Disney movie to calm my nerves and pee 4-6am sleep and have wonderful dreams 6am pee again 6-8am try desperately to sleep 8am stare at ceiling until the laundry guy rings the doorbell, grumbling get out of bed and start the day....spend the rest of day dreaming of a nap but far to restless to even bother! The scary part....I try not to drink anything after 6pm but at night i become a pee machine, yay me!

I now know that you can function on virtually NO sleep at all, which is good to know!!! Being pregnant is certainly an adventure and for all of its ups and downs it is completely worth it. It is funny how much you change during pregnancy, the way that i think about things is completely different. I am so excited to meet our baby, but must admit getting more and more nervous with each passing day about the birth. I wish i had my Mom or my sisters or Sarah to be here, to give me wisdom and encouragement, but i guess Ryan and i will figure this one out together....

Split personality

What a crazy block this has been back in India. First off it will be the first time since i moved here in February that we are actually going home at our 8 week mark so it somehow doesn't seem so never ending this time. Having my sister here for the first 3 weeks was awesome, i loved having her here every day to hang out with.

Ryan decided it would be best if i flew home early so we don't have to fight the holiday travelers with my STA, which could leave me stranded somewhere.....Which means i only have 3 weeks left in India before i head home!!!!!!! Next week we get to have our big 20 week scan and we are really excited to see the baby again, it has been over a month. The baby has been really active and i feel it more and more each day! It is incredible and God is amazing, i feel so blessed each and every day that he gave me this opportunity! Then in 2 weeks we are going to Bangkok and a week later i head back to the USA to spend a few days with my sister on the East Coast then on to home to enjoy Christmas with not only some of my family but finally Ryan! We have not spent a Christmas together in years and he has not gotten to be home for Christmas in at least 3 years. I really want to make it special for him, especially since this will be the last Christmas with just the 2 of us. I have some serious tricks up my sleeve and i cant wait to see his reaction.

It will be so nice to spend this month back home because this will be our last trip for 6 months and after that we will be traveling with our baby! I have to admit i am having a bit of anxiety about this travel though, i don't like spending over 16 hours on planes without Ryan and now that i am starting to get bigger i know that if i have to join the masses back in coach i will be miserable, especially because when you are on an STA you get the seat that no one wants and being pregnant and having to pee constantly is not helpful to be in the middle of the center row. I suppose all i can do is pray and give it up to God, he is in control of all things so its time to give it up!

I am going to be sad about being away from Ryan for 2 weeks. I am so used to having him in my daily life now that the thought of being apart from him is a bit painful. He says he will be OK, not to lonely or bored, which is what i worry most about. Its funny though, because as much as he says it i can tell he will miss me because his affection level has been climbing daily since we changed travel plans. I suppose it will be good for us to be apart for a few weeks, but honestly in our marriage we have spent so much of it apart that i think we have paid our dues!

Sister time

As our 3 weeks together draws to a close, i have to say that having my sister here with me has made life so much better here in India. I have enjoyed having her here to share my Hyderabad home with and to have some adventures of my own. She is truly my best friend so having her here with me made this feel a little bit more like home! Ryan has been gone A LOT for work and it can get very lonely with him not around so having her here is a treat!

We had such a great time in Goa, spending our days pol side or walking the beach in search of tide pools holding starfish, and little hermit crabs. We had to dodge all of the dead jelly fish that had washed up on the beach. It was so nice to just walk and walk and hang out, and to enjoy the tropical paradise together. It was a real treat to get to share my favorite place in India with her.

Back in Hyderabad we hiked Golconda Fort and explored all of it, and i have to say...What a hike! I have gotten more exercise in this last week than in my entire pregnancy, it felt great!

She will be heading back home in two days and i am going to miss her dearly, but we will be home in 5 short weeks after her to spend Christmas at home so that is something great to look forward to.

Another plus to this last week, while in Goa our baby became extremely active and now i can feel it all of the time. How amazing it is to feel those little flips, kicks, and punches...God is truly amazing! I have started placing headphones on the belly so the baby can listen to Beethoven courtesy of Aunty Sarah...Hopefully the baby follows in the footsteps of its very musical family!