Changes

It is amazing to me how fast Ella Mae changes, if you miss a day you miss a ton! She seems to have become very social basically overnight. She now smiles, giggles, coos, and babbles all of the time. She is so much more aware and she follows you with her eyes and finally turns her head to watch Ryan and myself. She still hates tummy time, but we improvise by giving her tummy time on our tummies to help strengthen her shoulders and neck. She wakes up in a good mood now and spends time happily alone in her chair or in her crib. She is a whole new baby, and she is even more fun now!

This video is of Ella Mae in Pune.

May as well be the moon!!!!

The closer we get to going home the more restless i feel! India may as well be another planet because i am so isolated from everything right now. The daily temperature has been averaging a scorching 104F which is way to hot for Ella Mae, so we mostly just stay in the apartment. Saleem finally got the car back from getting a new engine so that gives me a little bit more freedom, but as i said it is hot out and i hate taking Ella Mae out if i don't have to. Ryan has been working so much overtime that it is pretty lonely around here and Ella Mae and i miss him when he is gone so much, not to mention it is nice to have help!

Ella Mae had a Dr appointment yesterday and i was VERY happy with the Dr we saw. I felt like people weren't listening when i expressed a few concerns i had, but this Dr took us quite seriously and confirmed some of my thoughts. Now Ella Mae is getting treated for GERD which i help hopes her poor little tummy! She also lost a little bit of weight in the last week, so the medication should help her to stop spitting up so much. She has a bit of a cold which has its own challenges, but she is a real trooper! Her little cough would be cute if it wasn't a sign that she is sick! She also got her second round of injections and i am so happy Ryan came this time because i can not handle her looking at me like she did last time while they held her down, this time Daddy got to be the bad guy and i got to comfort her! She did so good, much better than me! I was in tears and actually had a few other Mothers starting to well up, i guess you don't have to speak the same language to understand the way it feels to be a mother while your baby is getting her shots and letting out that gut wrenching cry! I think as of now hearing her cry like that and not being able to comfort her has been the hardest thing for me! She had a rough night and morning but was back to her old self by evening.

These next 2 weeks before we head home are going to be very busy! Ryan has to go to Dehli to get our visa paperwork and then we all have to go to Mumbai for the Visas, which i am dreading! Then it is time for the long journey! I am happy that Ella Mae will have flown 2 times prior to getting on a plane for nearly 16 hours (broken in half thank goodness)! Last time she flew went great and i am hoping that she takes to it like she did then. She really loves car rides, so i think the plane has the same kinds of vibrations and loud background noise so maybe she will sleep the flights away!

I just can't wait to get home!!!!!

Daily Changes

Just when we think we have Miss Ella Mae figured out she changes. She is now 6 weeks old and boy does she keep us on our toes! One day she is happy, playing and interacting and the next she is moody and cant stop crying. I guess this is all part of having a baby!

Probably the cutest thing she is doing right now other than smiling and babbling is cuddling with Toby. Toby, her stuffed giraffe and her are so sweet. She likes to suck on his ears and generally put him in her mouth. She tries to hold him and i think he will be in her life for some time to come. I guess it is time to start buying everything giraffe!

Lately when she cries i find that playing "Everybody hurts" R.E.M. seems to soothe her. We listen to it quite a bit and she doesn't seem to mind when i sing it to her off key. I love the love that a baby can show you. When she looks in my eyes i can see that i am basically her whole world, well me and Ryan are her whole world. It is not only life changing to be someones whole world, but scary!!!!

I find myself worrying a lot, should she be looking at my face more...can she see, why doesn't she startle at all loud sounds...can she hear, is she holding her head up well enough...will her shoulders be strong enough to crawl, should she cry so much....is she sick, should she spit up that much...will she continue to gain weight, do i talk to her and read to her enough...will she learn to speak properly, do i stimulate her enough...will she learn as she should, does she get enough time with other people...will she be social, do i spend to much time at home with her...will she be able to adapt to different environments???????????? The list goes on and on leaving me wondering why there isn't a manual! Google has certainly been working overtime for me, maybe i should buy some stock!!!

Being a Mommy is scary at times, but it is so wonderful and i know that Ella Mae and i are learning together. God is watching over us, and i continue to try to turn all of the worries over to him. I guess this test of faith is a continuing one, and i am happy to see that God continues to challenge me.

Ella Mae is officially and American Citizen as we received her US Passport and CRBA (consular report birth abroad) today! Now we just have to get her Visa, which will hopefully not be a huge challenge and then we are homeward bound!

Sweet angel

Today was a landmark day. Ella Mae decided today was the day to start interacting with us. She was so sweet, cooing and smiling for us. It was so much fun to talk to her and have her smile and respond. I cant wait until she is giggling! Last night i went in and took her out of her bed and just held her while she was sleeping. I cant believe how much i love her!

These videos are just of her spending time with us and she is starting to hold up her head, smile and coo.

Jet set Ella Mae!!!!

On Mothers Day Ryan decided that Ella Mae and i should join him in Pune for a little family time and relaxation! I was nervous as this would be her very first flight and since Ryan would be Captain of the flight i would be on my own in taking care of her. She had been fussy the whole day and so i was worried but in the end i sucked it up and bought the ticket knowing that i couldn't back out once it was purchased!

We arrived at the airport 2 hours before the flight and Ryan was there waiting for us. Ella Mae was sound asleep from the car ride but i was trying to time everything perfectly so that she would sleep on the flight (hahahahaha). When she woke up she was crabby but Daddy was there to help save the day. I really must admit it was very sweet watching a fully uniformed Captain walking around with his daughter dancing and rocking her and not a care in the world. In India i don't think fathers take on much baby care so he was quite the site as he was taking care of her.

I was able to board the plane early (its nice knowing the Captain LOL) and get all settled in for the flight. Ella Mae was a champ and she slept through the entire trip. What an angel, that is until we got to the Hotel! She had a bit of a rough night being in a new place and all, but we had the whole next day to relax and recover so it was no biggy.

We had a great day together as a family, and I think it was just what i needed to boost my confidence in flying with Ella Mae and feeling like i could have a bit more freedom. She was amazing and let us sit down to all 3 meals without interruption. I think i am liking this 4 week old version of my daughter.

The flight home went well, although she was awake for most of it she was relatively calm and only fussed a little. All in all a very successful trip. I feel much more prepared for our long journey home, which i am pleased to say appears like it will happen mid June! What a great way to spend Mothers Day!

Promise to a Young Girl

Through all of life’s experiences, all of life’s distractions, somehow two people find each other and have the courage to try love again. As their life grows, their love grows. Just as they had the courage to love, they reach also for the courage to hope. The miracle of faith, hope and love now rests in their arms and listens to the sweet, soft notes her daddy offers her in song. A promise made long ago to a young girl is made real. ~Elsie Porter~


My amazingly talented Aunt who is an artist created the most wonderful painting for Ryan, Ella Mae and myself. The painting is entitled "Promise to a young girl". The written above is its dedication. She truly captured the heart of us!

I have to give her a shout out and so i am posting her web site because her work is amazing! We now own 2 pieces and i cant wait to get home and find them a special place on our walls!

www.elsieporter.com

Mothers Day

For most of my adult life Mothers Day has secretly been a day of jealousy for me. It was a day for women who had been blessed with the greatest gift possible, the gift of having children. I wanted that so bad, and it hurt to be so openly reminded of what i was missing out on. Ryan always tried to help by getting me something from our furry kids and taking me out to dinner, but then at whatever restraunt we went to i was given whatever flower they were giving away and told "Happy Mothers Day" Ouch.

This year my dreams have come true and i find that Mothers Day is even more special then i knew. My heart has been opened to so many different aspects of "what it is to be a mother." I have a whole new respect for my Mom and i now realize how deep the love she has for me and my sisters is. That is a level of love i dont think i truly understood until i held my daughter...My daughter, those words still seem sereal like a dream that i havent woken up from. I have a daughter, and i will spend the rest of my life loving and caring for her together with my amazing husband.

Ella Mae has brought me a new kind of joy that is impossible to explain. I cant get enough of her, i love on her, i cuddle her, i care for her, i worry over her and most important i pray over her and give her back to God every day.

Due to the love i have found in having a daughter, i now better understand Gods love for me. I now get what "unconditional" means. Before Ella Mae, i am sad to say i knew how to love, but i dont think i really loved unconditionally. I hope now i can begin to love all of the important people in my life unconditionally.

Being so far from family with such a young baby is very hard, probably the hardest thing i have ever had to do. I want her to be a part of their lives and them part of hers, and it makes me sad that she will not meet any of her family before she is over 8 weeks old. She is so amazing and changes every single day. I can hardly keep up with her as each day is totally different than the last, but that is what makes it such an adventure!