Orange juice and unanswered prayers

Honestly sometimes I think unanswered prayers can be an even bigger blessing than the answered ones.  Now bear with me as I explain how I came to this conclusion.  As Ryan often tells me that he will never understand how the randomness of my mind works, well this is a random story, but then again God works in mysterious ways.

While I was on vacation in Washington I read a FaceBook post of one of my favorite authors.  At the time I saw it I skimmed over it, not really reading into the depth of what he was saying.  This was his post.

"All of life is like an orange. Squeeze an orange and you don't get milk, or coffee, or coke.  You get orange juice, regardless of which hand or machine squeezes the orange.  Why? Because only that which is inside comes out, nothing else.  So what about you? When money or work or relationship wrings you dry and squeezes you tight, what comes out? Anxiety? Frustration? Jealousy? Or do love, joy and peace come out? The next time you're squeezed, don't blame the hand doing the squeezing; instead notice what comes out and set about changing what's inside." Ted Dekker

My worst fear this entire trip was that Ryan would not make his flight back to Denver on Saturday and I would have to follow my 2 hour flight with a 7 hour drive with only an agitated toddler to keep me company.  I prayed and prayed and prayed that God would get Ryan there, but in the back of my mind I knew that was not the plan.

I landed in Denver and switched on my phone.  The text came through and my heart dropped.  The flight had been cancelled, Ryan would not be joining us.  We spoke briefly but I was so upset and exhausted I didn't feel like talking so we began our journey.

It was within that first 2 hours of the drive that my mind pulled up the stored information from Ted Dekkers post.  I realized that I was the orange being squeezed at that very moment, and I was ashamed of what was coming out!  God laid it on me and I began to realize that when I get "squeezed" my first response is almost always anger, then resentment, then frustration, then self pity and so on.  I realized that I was letting those things be what I was made of!  That was what was on the inside!  I began to talk to God about it and as i thought it over I felt God urge me to ask myself what I wanted to have come out when I was squeezed, the answer came quickly.  PEACE!  I wanted to be filled with so much peace that when I get squeezed I overflow with peace!  

I prayed for that to be my "filling", the Peace of God.

Now I am not going to lie to you and tell you that it happened over that road trip, although the drive was easy and Ella Mae was excellent.  When I did get home I was not resentful towards Ryan which would have surely been the case had I not had this revelation.  I've been squeezed a few times since I have been home and although peace comes much more quickly now, I wont say that it has over taken me yet.  I am so pleased that God used a drive home to teach me something so amazingly valuable, and now I will continue to pray for and seek this Peace that he has for me!

And to think, if Ryan had made it and my prayer been answered I would have not had such a great time with God and learned so much!