Life goes on

I think it is hardest for me to be away from home during the summer. My friends are enjoying their time at the lake, taking kids to the park, having girls nights out and i am here with none of that. Selfishly i miss it! I want to have a pedi day with Sarah and Kris and then go have a few drinks downtown. I want to have movie night with my girlfriends, or just spend an afternoon shopping. I want to go to the lake and get sunburned! I want to go to friends weddings and to go camping. I miss this stuff, i miss it so much! I cant help but feel like my years are slipping by and that i am missing out on the best times with friends. When i go back there is even a possibility that one of my dearest friends may not even be there any more! Since India, my friendships have changed. Peoples lives tend to move on with or without you and many of the people we called friend have disappeared from our lives. That is the way that it goes, but that also makes the friends that have stuck with us over the distance so much more valuable and i hate that we are missing out on time with them. Ugh, every day just seems to be harder, especially since there is no job in sight for us. I do not want to be an expat forever!!!!! I want to wake up in my bed, drive my car, clean my house, have my daughter play with our dogs and see her grandparents, relatives and friends......I wonder if this sad feeling will go away or if i am just stuck with it until we go home.....